Imagine laying there, old and on your death bed, the tension that is life about to be released as inevitability finally catches up with you. Having dodged fatal accidents and murderous acts, now some terminal illness or maybe just time is leading you by the hand as you lay there, helpless but taking odd comfort in the absolutely dependable certainty of what must come.
Hopefully, your mind is still clear, your consciousness crisp enough to see not only the end coming, but that no other being is of use, comfort or consequence at this point. Maybe you've carried a knot inside all your life. A knot unknown and much less untied by friends, family, lovers—the one thing no one can see, show or share with another; what we were born with which makes every one of us alone. And presently you need, for intuitive reasons unclear to you, for this knot to be loosened, untied before your last breath cuts everything short. Anything else would be to leave with unfinished business. This entire life will have passed without meaning, a waste of the miracle of consciousness. But whoever is at the bedside—your mother, your father, your brother, sister, children, best friend, lover or nurse—they cannot help you now.
Shamans use song to help, heal and guide people, and what you sure could use now is a song to dig into that knot within. Something like «The Last Tree» by Larkin Grimm, that fearless, loving spirit guide to nothingness:
Can't you just feel the knot slacken and release as your fear of death merges with your death wish? Can you feel it spread and glow from your centre—a bliss indistinguishable from terror? As your senses take their leave, these sounds lead you by the hand, guiding you into the darkness to begin with, then letting go. You'll panic at first, but the source the song's words and intentions come from will assure you, feeding your courage in the last conscious moment of togetherness. What left you have of regrets, guilt, shame or secrets, release them. We all have those, it's OK. Then the voice guiding you disappears, telling you she'll be alright. And if she will be, then somehow you know you will be too.
Whatever happens next is anybody's guess, but here's hoping this is the last goodbye you'll ever have to make. That there's no spirit world or afterlife or reincarnation, and that all the thoughts that make up you will disperse, leaving and so dissolving the centre that tie them all together, once and for all, all thoughts and feelings dislocating and returning in all directions to the store of consciousness all experience and all selves come from, like so many waves in «the black and blinding sea»:
Hopefully, your mind is still clear, your consciousness crisp enough to see not only the end coming, but that no other being is of use, comfort or consequence at this point. Maybe you've carried a knot inside all your life. A knot unknown and much less untied by friends, family, lovers—the one thing no one can see, show or share with another; what we were born with which makes every one of us alone. And presently you need, for intuitive reasons unclear to you, for this knot to be loosened, untied before your last breath cuts everything short. Anything else would be to leave with unfinished business. This entire life will have passed without meaning, a waste of the miracle of consciousness. But whoever is at the bedside—your mother, your father, your brother, sister, children, best friend, lover or nurse—they cannot help you now.Shamans use song to help, heal and guide people, and what you sure could use now is a song to dig into that knot within. Something like «The Last Tree» by Larkin Grimm, that fearless, loving spirit guide to nothingness:
Can't you just feel the knot slacken and release as your fear of death merges with your death wish? Can you feel it spread and glow from your centre—a bliss indistinguishable from terror? As your senses take their leave, these sounds lead you by the hand, guiding you into the darkness to begin with, then letting go. You'll panic at first, but the source the song's words and intentions come from will assure you, feeding your courage in the last conscious moment of togetherness. What left you have of regrets, guilt, shame or secrets, release them. We all have those, it's OK. Then the voice guiding you disappears, telling you she'll be alright. And if she will be, then somehow you know you will be too.
Whatever happens next is anybody's guess, but here's hoping this is the last goodbye you'll ever have to make. That there's no spirit world or afterlife or reincarnation, and that all the thoughts that make up you will disperse, leaving and so dissolving the centre that tie them all together, once and for all, all thoughts and feelings dislocating and returning in all directions to the store of consciousness all experience and all selves come from, like so many waves in «the black and blinding sea»:
Sorrows come and sorrows go
That's all I know, that's all I know
And the light comes strong and fast
But I'm afraid it's never going to last
Close your eyes and follow me
Into the black, inviting sea
The ocean waves will cover me
I'll be alright
Well, someday everyone who we attack
Will fight us back
But 'til then let's just pretend
We're like them, we're so Bohemian
Close your eyes and follow me
Into the woods, under the trees
If we hide our heads under the leaves
We'll be alright
Well, some day the last tree is going to fall
And kill us all
But 'til then let's just pretend
That I'm alright and you are alright
Close your eyes and follow me
Into the black and blinding sea
If I get lost there, don't you wait for me
I'll be alright
'Cause sorrows come and sorrows go
That's all I know, that's all I know
The version to be downloaded below is from a 2006 cassette-only release on Sloow Tapes, limited to 100 copies:
Larkin Grimm:
Selections from
After You Men Explode the World We Women Will Sing It to Sleep [.zip]:
Selections from
After You Men Explode the World We Women Will Sing It to Sleep [.zip]:
1. The Last TreeAnother version of «The Last Tree» can be found on the album of the same name. I'm also including three tracks from the tape's B-side, Grimm songs credited to «the Beautiful Babes in Springtime Brainwave Band feat. Earl Monster»(!):
2. If You Kill Me Tonight They Will Find You They Will Kill You tooNot to get mundane and financial on your ass, but supporting Grimm by buying her still available albums is full of its own rewards. Like none other, Grimm injects the term «spiritual» music with an added dimension (what she dubs «compassionate destruction»). Please help make it possible.
3. Mori Moma Bega
4. Patch It Up
Posts
any way you could reup this one? thank youuuuu
ReplyDeleteSure thing. If you haven't already, I highly recommend acquiring a copy of Larkin Grimm's latest album here: http://larkingrimm.net/Larkin_Grimm/Home.html Great stuff.
ReplyDelete